This quote could not be any more true than in my current situation. Its no secret that we walked into this with not only our own 3 kids each but also 3 of each others kids as well. We walked in with full lives and even our fair share of baggage and such. The chance to get downtime together without kids, or even as a small family of 5 is no less than a small miracle. So far we have had one good weekend with just his kids and every Thursday so far we get time with my kids when he can make it down. We do our typical Chinese Thursday (we grub down on Chinese food EVERY Thursday...don't judge) and then we follow it up with homework and well, typical family type stuff, showers, complaining and bed time :)
Now last night, we were able to have something we don't get too often and that was our very first REAL date. It was so fun! Just to be around each other, no kids, to chill and talk and BS and act like we had not a care in the world. It's in these moments I have to remember to enjoy them, that even though they may seem small, they are actually huge. They are the moments that will be most missed. Sitting in a restaurant as the guy looks around for a place to put his gum (uhm at 31 who honestly still puts it under the table...him) and me waiting less than patiently for my girly grown up drink to show up. Man a lemon drop martini could not have tasted any better than it did last night!
We went to a movie, we ate ice cream during, we snuggled in the seats and we came home and well...hey...not EVERYTHING needs to get put into the blogosphere. As we laid on the bed though, facing each other, chatting about things it hit me that I'm going to miss those moments. The ones that I get to look at him and just see him looking back, the moments that I can reach over and hold his hand, or cuddle up so close its almost like we are one person. I am seriously going to have a rough time and I think to cure this at least the cuddling part, this lady is going to have to buy herself a body pillow. Haha. Funny right? But not really, cause I love my nights where I have him there, I also decided that some Skype convos will just have to be at my night time and I will just have to set the laptop on his pillow. Just like 'we used to' is what we will say and for that brief moment it will almost be as though he is right there.
I have yet to share this blog with anyone because so far I have come to the realization that I am going to have a rough time of this, that still some people will judge me even committing to stay with him during his deployment, but mostly because I want to be able to say whatever I want and right now...just like a pouty little 2 year old I want to scream and shout...
"I don't want you to go, I want you to stay right here, I need you, boo hoo hoo"
Now that that is all out there this is me saying...remember the small things Andrea. Remember that you had all these moments and remember to make the most of them. Get out of your head and start being in the moment or else those moments are going to be ruined and you will have nothing good to hold onto.
I love this man with every fiber in my body and maybe that's why this is so scary. Time apart isn't so hard when you aren't fully devoted to the person leaving...but when you are...it seems to be the most impossible adventure you will ever go on.
XOXO,
G33KY Penguin
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